FROM THE PEACEMAKER MINISTRIES: peacemeal

Ask, Seek, Knock ... and Knock Again

If a brother sins against you, go and show him his fault,
just between the two of you. Matthew 18:15

Be prepared for the fact that your first meeting may not be successful. Since the other person may doubt your sincerity or may not be accustomed to dealing with differences in such a direct and honest way, your initial attempt at reconciliation may do nothing more than plant seeds that you will need to cultivate in following days. The Greek verb used for "go" in Matthew 18:15 implies a continual action.

Taken from The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict
by Ken Sande, Updated Edition (Grand Rapids, Baker Books, 2003) p. 157.

Food for Thought

How often do you give up after only one try?

Her name was Carol. She had been hospitalized for almost a month when the young chaplain knocked on her door. He entered the room and greeted her warmly; however, the temperature in return was nothing but cool. He tried again to initiate deep, spiritual, peacemaking conversation but she would have none of it. Direct eye contact and putting his best foot forward was going nowhere fast; after a few more one-sided questions, he promised to return tomorrow and check on her. She said, "I hope I'm gone by then."

Unfortunately, the same scenario played itself out the next time he visited Carol and the next time and the next time and the next. But he kept on knocking. And then one day, in the fullness of time, he knocked on her door, announced "it's the chaplain" and she said, "Please come in." He found her previously hardened face now softened by tears. She talked, wept, and his visit lasted almost an hour. She seemed peace-full when he left. During the three months of her stay, there were numerous visits after that, sometimes talking and other days just playing cards. But the young chaplain learned a valuable lesson in walking with Carol in her illness: your initial attempt at reconciliation may do nothing more than plant seeds that you will need to cultivate in the following days. In peacemaking, it's not three strikes and you're out -- no, it may be six knocks and you're finally in. Keep on knocking.